34. The Line - Updated

Sometimes life gets in the way of blogging… it’s very frustrating.  My mom and I had a bit of a blowout this weekend and so I’ve been somewhat preoccupied.  We will be going to a counselor on Friday, and so I’m hoping that things will improve.

In light of my distraction, I thought I would do something different.  Instead of telling you what I think, I want to ask a question… something I’ve been thinking about ever since the discussion I mentioned before where my friend talked about ‘building fences around potential areas of sin’.  I have been wondering what, specifically, the sin would be.  I know that if I were to date a woman, most of my friends would be really worried… but would they be worried because I was sinning? Or because I was heading towards sin?  Maybe it’s not important, because I shouldn’t head towards sin if I know that it’s sin, but I just want to know… what is the sin?

Now, I don’t want any graphic descriptions of lesbian sex… I was going to say that this is a ‘family blog’, but considering the topic, and the fact that I occasionally curse, it’s probably not.  Nonetheless, let’s keep it clean and assume that sex is sex, and we don’t need to describe it.  

So, here is the question, and it is for everyone – Side A and Side B people alike.  (Side A is pro-gay relationships, and Side B is celibacy for gay people).  If we assume that homosexual behavior is sin, then what does that mean?  Does it only mean sex?  Does it mean that it would be a sin for me to date a woman?  To kiss a woman?  Second base? Holding hands?  And again, I’m not talking about building a fence around the ‘sin’, I’m wondering exactly where the sin would begin.  I have come nowhere near to it, so I haven’t really had to think about this.  And please, don’t worry, this is not me trying to figure out how ‘far I can go’ or anything… it’s just curiosity.  People tend to be really vague about this, even when I ask directly.  If it’s a sin, then what is it?  What are your thoughts?    

UPDATE:
Something I meant to mention, but I forgot (and has come up in my comments – not that I was upset by them, it just made me realize that I had forgotten to mention this) were my thoughts on ‘sin’.  To my understanding, for something to be a sin there has to be a choice involved.  And while there is sometimes a choice involved in feelings, for the most part there is not, so I cannot conceive of my ‘feelings’ being a sin (for the most part).  This is why I make such a big deal about the difference between homosexual behavior and homosexuality.  One is a behavior, one is who I am (or rather, part of who I am).  And actually, most of my friends (who are mostly conservative thinkers) would agree with that.  And I also meant to mention that I wasn’t thinking about lust, or ‘thought sins’… I was thinking about actions.  For example, an unmarried, straight, Christian couple can have every intention of having sex before they are married, will get together, and get very close, but at the last minute they might feel convicted and stop.  (I’ve actually known people who have had this happen.)  Most people would say that they didn’t sin… they came close, were tempted, they may even have planned it, but they didn’t actually sin… well, maybe lust.  But then again, maybe not.  So, if we can make a distinction between temptation and sin for heterosexuals, there should be a similar distinction made for homosexuals.  What I am wondering is where that distinction is.     

And if there is no intent for sex, would anything else be a sin?  There are Christian gay couples who commit to be celibate, but they do date and hold hands and probably even kiss… but sex is not even on the table.  Are they sinning (by the Side B definition)?