Monday, February 20, 2006

57. Heresy Anyone?

In a minor deviation from my regular theme, I thought I’d share a little glimpse of one of my classes today.

It was one of my afternoon classes, which is actually pretty much my favourite time of day… it’s a class of 4 ten and eleven year olds.  One of the boys, whom I shall call Robert, found this weird plastic strap type thing, and made it into a crown, and declared himself king.  One of the other boys, whom I shall call Terry said (incidentally, in perfect English, which was itself pretty impressive), “Well, if you’re king, then I’m God.”

My eyebrows shot up, at first thinking “that’s some impressive theology for a 10 year old… he knows that God is greater than a king!”  But that wasn’t the end of it.  Robert countered with, “Well, if you’re God, then I’m Jesus!”

I almost gave myself whiplash, my head turned so fast.  But it didn’t there.  Terry countered with “Well, if you’re Jesus, then I’m Super Jesus!”

My hot tea almost came out of my nose.

Robert:  “If you’re Super Jesus, then I’m Giant Super Jesus!”

Terry:  “If you’re Giant Super Jesus, then I’m Ultra Giant Super Jesus!”

Robert:  “Well, I’m Great Giant Super Jesus…”

Terry:  “I’m Great Giant Super Jesus Ultra humongous….”

I think it was around here that they realized I was in hysterics and the entire class proceeded to lose it.  It took me about 10 minutes to get everyone back on track again.

Hey, a little heresy never hurt anyone did it?

Oh, well… I don’t think this particular bit of heretical conversation will hurt anyone.


CK said...

I think it's funny that the one boy somehow thought that Jesus trumps God... he's definitely got some non-Trinitarian views!

Liadan said...

Oh yeah? Well, if you're Great Giant Super Jesus Ultra Humongous Son of God, I'm GREAT GIANT SUPER ULTRA MEGA JESUS TIMES INFINITY!

Beat THAT. *folds arms*

Anonymous said...

Being a heretic only hurts you if you grow up in the 15th century.

Christinewjc said...

Speaking of heresy...

This is good news! The release of The DaVinci Code film may be scrapped because of a plagiarism claim against author Dan Brown!

That would be cool...

Brown deserves every bit of trouble he faces because of his blasphemous book that lies about the Son of God, Jesus Christ.

Boo said...

You know, Christine, I've tried repeatedly to tell myself that you're a good person who's just being misled, but it seems like the truth is you're just another hypocrite who cherry-picks the Bible to suit her own agenda. So go ahead and give us your rationalization of how to square your sentiments with Proverbs 25:21-22 and Luke 6:27-35, and then explain to me why the Lord of the Universe is thin-skinned enough to be vindictive about a silly boilerplate novel.

JJ said...


I think you've jumped the gun here. Christine was continuing a conversation her and I were having on her blog about this book... as always, context is everything! *grin!*

Boo said...

jj- I don't see anything in that conversation to exonerate her. She freely interprets the Bible as she sees fit, but refuses to admit she's doing so, prefering to believe that her particular interpretations are all just "God's truth." She reads words into verses that aren't there, like claiming Ezekiel somehow condemns homosexuality, then accuses other people of being ignorant of Scripture. Sorry, I'm declaring shenanigans.

Ironically enough, she and the Da Vinci Code fanatics share one of the same problems- ignorance about the history and cultures of Biblical eras.

FYI- I slogged through the whole book, you aren't missing anything. I see Dan Brown kind of the same as I see Ann Coulter. Both are making money by giving people what they want. The real problem is why there are so many people willing to eagerly consume trash.

Boo said...

JJ- after seeing this shocking expose from WorldNetDaily and David Kupelian, all I can say is that since you're a teacher, thank goodness you're gay. No responsible adult could want heterosexuals teaching children after reading this:

bernie dehler at said...

I interviewed Jason Thompson of "The Portland Fellowship" exgay ministry on TV. You can watch the webcast free here:

I asked him questions like:
-- "Are gays born that way?"
-- "Are there REALLY any such things as former gays?"
-- "Do all gays live miserable, depressed lives?"
-- "Can homosexuals change?"

Plus many other questions.

My blog article is also here: