Wednesday, January 04, 2006

51. Leaving on a Jet Plane

Well, this is it.  The last post while I am still in the Great White North… my home and (not quite) native land.  I fly out to Korea tomorrow.  I have nothing to say… nothing profound anyway.  I barely have time to write this down.  But I value all your thoughts and prayers.

I hope to have my internet up and running fairly quickly once I get there so things can get back to normal, blog wise.  Not sure how possible that will be, but time will tell.  I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and a Happy New Year.  



Boo said...

Say hi to all the cute Korean girls for me ;-)

Liadan said...

Safe journey and quick Net setup upon arrival!

Jessica said...

I can't tell you how grateful I am to have found your blog! I found it through Angel's blog and it's like an answer to prayer. Really. I'm a straight, married, Christian woman with a child. I've been praying about how to teach my daughter about gays, because I don't want her to be raised like my brothers and I were.

See, we were raised to basically hate the gay lifestyle. Now, the thing is is that Christians will say that we hate the sin and not the sinner, but I have to say that that's not what we actually DO. I have seen more hate toward gays than I care to admit and it makes me sick.

When I was in Highschool, I began to change my mind about all of that. I couldn't see a difference. And, here's the thing, we all sin and fall short of God's glory. The bible doesn't specify "some more than others".

I began campaigning for Gay marriage back in the late 80's, when I was graduating high school and you can imagine the reaction from my family! They all ended up having to go into denial about it, because otherwise they'd have to ex-communicate me from the family.

When I attended and AIDS charity event and went straight to church for a youth group meeting right after, wearing my red ribbon, well, I caught hell from several irate church members. I'm surprised they didn't toss me out of church just for that! lol To their credit, they didn't, but I'm sure a few members wanted to.

Anyway, I'm sorry to make this so long. I guess I just got excited, because I feel like I'm going to be able to understand what Christian gays go through better and hopefully, you'll be able to guide me to some resources, as I read, that will help me teach my daughter properly. I'm doing ok at it so far, but she gets a little confused when we're at family gatherings, if the subject of gays comes up, my brothers can be pretty forceful with their beliefs. I basically have to re-teach her after every family thing. Ugh. lol

I almost cried after reading your first blog and I did cry when I just read your blog about going to the Pride day at an Anglican Church. You know, I adore that song, I'm Desperate for You, too.

You're not alone in wondering if God is still with you. I've had some real struggles with that myself over the past two years, (if you read my blog you'll understnad why, lol). But, I've come to realize that I can't depend on "feeling" his presence to know he's there. It's like breathing air. We know we're breathing it, but I don't "feel" it, unless the wind is blowing. I see the effects of it, though, ie I'm still alive and the leaves are fluttering in the trees, etc. But, even when I'm not seeing it, it's still there. I think htat at it's simplest, that's what faith is. Just knowing that God is real and you are saved and that's that. If I went by how I feel or the things that are going on in my life, I'd have to believe that God totally forsook me and there was some kind of filing error, because I ended up in hell! lol

I have been of the opinion that God creates gays specially, because He opened my eyes to that one day when I read the scripture that says that He makes some eunuchs. Well, I didn't know what the heck a eunuch was so I did some studying and it was a gay man who would serve in a very trusted position in the kingdom. He became gay either because he was born that way or in the case of slavery, they made some men gay by castrating them (ouch!).

Then, as you read that passage it talks about how he created some to be eunuchs (this is in the new testament, one of Paul's epistles. I'm sorry I can't remember exactly where, because I'm not near my bible), for the express purpose of serving God! That was such an eye opener.

Of course, since then, I've just wondered, well, if God created Eunuchs, then why would he say that they were bad? In the beginning God created...and he said, it is good, it is very, very good.

Thank you for making this blog. I can't imagine what you must suffer. The only way I can even equate my own experiences to it, to empathize, is by thinking of what the blacks went through in the US, and continue to go through (Grrr!). But, even that can't come close, because at least when we went home, we could feel loved and safe. Being Christian and Gay, I just can't imagine what you must go through.

I hope that we can change that, but the only way for that to happen is by teaching our children differently from what we were raised to believe as fact. It's good though, because now, I always find out for myself about what I believe in.

Just because my whole church may believe something, doesn't mean that I will unless I research the word with prayer and find out for myself what is the truth. I don't feel the need to have an answer for every single thing in life. So, I also don't have a problem suspending my belief about a thing, until I do get the answers.

Keep up the good work. I believe you're serving Good. God has plans for you, JJ, and they're for good, not for evil. He is with you and he'll never forsake you. He understands what you're going through like no one else can, because he was forsaken by all of his friends and family, too.

Boo said...

Jessica- you have many thoughts.

And something on the eunuchs you keep mentioning- it may make a fair analogy, but eunuchs are not homosexuals. You can't "make" someone gay by castrating them, you just kill their sex drive, which is why eunuchs were used as harem guards.

You've got to remember that in the days of the Biblical authors, the only forms of homosexual expression they knew of were sacred prostitution in the temples of pagan gods and young men having sex with younger boys as an outlet before they were old enough to get married. So it's only natural they'd be against that.

JJ said...


This will be my last internet contact for a while... at least until i get things set up in Korea. And I haven't even read anything Jessica has written because I don't have time but I just wanted to say that there are some who theorize that when eunuchs are mentioned in Scripture -- especially those who are "born eunuchs" -- they are referring to people who are born gay. I've read some of the research into this, and it seems to have some credibility. Just food for thought.

Anyway, I'm leaving in a few hours so...

Love to all of you!

Angel said...

Safe journey JJ!!! Can't wait to hear from you again :)

Jessica said...

I guess I wasn't clear enough. I meant that that's what they were trying to do was to make men homosexual or even asexual by castrating them. I don't personally believe that. lol I don't think you can make someone gay any more than I believe you can un-make them gay. lol I was talking about the belief that when they refer to "eunuchs", who were born to be eunuchs, in the bible, they're referring to those who are born gay, who God created that way.

Sorry that I wrote so much. Oy. I tend to do that. Anyway, just wanted to clarify what I meant. I didn't mean to offend, either, so hopefully I didn't. I also was only referring to those scriptures written by Paul, not the pagan use of eunuchs. Ick! Those poor kids. That's all I can say about that. And, yes, I did know about that and I try not to think about it, becuase it makes me so sad. Ok, take care gang. Have a good trip JJ and stay safe. :)

E said...

There is substantial evidence to suggest that the term 'eunuch' was used in ancient times to refer to any man who couldn't (or wouldn't) have sex with a woman, and that 'born eunuch' specifically referred to homosexuals.

Here's a link for anyone interested in reading more about the subject.

Christine said...

Best wishes on your journey and adventure. Can't wait to read more about it.

Eric said...

Hey JJ,

Hope you are settling in well enough over there. Bless ya and much love....