Wednesday, August 29, 2007

100. One Hundred!

My 100th post! Wow.

Actually, it’s not my 100th post at all, I made a mistake a while back and labeled two posts with the same number, but I didn’t catch it until a long time later, and it would have screwed up some linking issues to fix it, so I just left it. Hope you don’t feel cheated.

So, guess who I’m babysitting for tomorrow night? The happily married lesbian couple whose house I stayed in for two nights. I’m finally going to meet them! I won’t get to meet their daughter, she’ll be asleep (super easy babysitting gig, I must say)… but I’m excited to meet these ladies. Although I’m preparing myself for the fact that it will no doubt be a very brief meeting. I mean, they don’t even have to show me where things are around the house… I’ve already stayed there for a couple of days and met their freaky cats (yes, they are lesbians and they have cats… no real surprises there). Still, I am excited.

Other than that, my life is sort of void of blog relevant news… well, not void exactly, just not full of anything interesting to share. Oooh, I did come out to another lady from my church. I sort of have forgotten how to censor myself in recent years (except around my mother, but then that’s a lifelong habit), but normally I’m around people who know or who I know won’t care. This was a lady I could best call an acquaintance, and I just said something that I didn’t realize sounded odd until she asked for clarification. I had a moment where I tried to decide what to say and how to get out of it, but then I just thought “ah, screw it”, and just told her. We talked about it a little bit and that was that. I’m realizing how not comfortable I am with the lie anymore… not that I lie, but letting people believe something that I know isn’t true is starting to feel wrong. (Again, except for my mother… but that’s not for wont of having told her… I’ve told her more than once… I’m not going through that again.)

Speaking of my mother, I just remembered a little anecdote from when she came to visit me a few weeks ago. We didn’t go to my church either weekend that she was here because she’s decided she doesn’t like my church. One of the Sundays we went to this church that she had heard about – a church more in keeping with her tastes and style of worship (ie: charismatic). Before the sermon, they had the announcements and this woman spoke a little about the upcoming provincial elections (for those Americans among you, that would be the equivalent of a state level election), and how important it was for Christians to vote in this election because “a lot of the issues that matter to us are decided at a provincial level… like education and what our children are being taught about sodomy.”

I sort of jumped in my seat and looked around to see everyone nodding solemnly. I admit I missed a portion of the sermon (which was of a sort that no longer really resonates with me anymore anyway… you know, lots of bells and whistles) because I was so angry. That was a rather loaded choice of words, and no one seemed to catch it… who wants to teach children about sodomy? The gayest gay activist on the gayest street in the gayest city doesn’t advocate teaching children about sodomy, and it’s using language like that that fuels the homophobic violence (like what happened to Christine’s friend). What is wrong with people?

Anyway, other than that, I don’t have much to say… so, in order to amuse myself I’ve started a new blog where I write about completely frivolous things. Check it out if you like. Oh, and I found out what I would look like if I were a character on The Simpsons. Enjoy.

Friday, August 24, 2007

99. Preoccupied

Well, my loyal readers… if there are any of you left. I have, obviously, been not so much with the blogging lately. I’ve sort of been preoccupied. The medical issues I mentioned before have turned out to be a bit more serious than originally thought. Oh, still nothing life threatening, it’s just that in order to rectify the issue the surgery might involve a little more than what I was told before… I’m dancing around the issue, not really sure why, it’s not like it’s really private, but for some reason I don’t feel like putting it all out there on the internet. I hope you all don’t mind.

Anyway, I didn’t really realize how much it was bothering me until the other night when a woman I hardly know asked me if she could pray for me regarding this and I found myself quite suddenly sobbing in her living room. I’m not sure who was more surprised – this woman, who is quite nice, but with whom I’ve never had a conversation that lasted for more than maybe 3 minutes (and, incidentally, all of our previous conversations had revolved around her children who I often looked after… we’ve never once had a personal conversation), or me. I have been doing my best not to think about this whole thing, or really, anything at all serious… hence my avoidance of the blogging world – I haven’t even been reading other people’s blogs. But after leaking my emotions out in this woman’s home (and may I ask why crying has to involve so much fluid? It’s so undignified… ) I think I’m ready to venture back into the series of tubes that form out beloved internets. Unfortunately, I don’t really have much to share that is blog relevant, but at least I’ll be around.

Oh, and once again, I’ll ask for your prayers.