151. I needed that...

I went to church tonight after having not been for a few weeks.  I was holding back tears almost from the minute I walked in.  Hadn't realized how much I needed it. 

It was an interesting service, the 'sermon' (if I can call it that... it was more of a talk) was about coming out as a sacrament. 

Oh, in case you are wondering, I have found a gay friendly church in Seoul... so yeah, coming out as a sacrament.

The guy who was speaking talked about how he had judged himself, and who God had made him to be as wrong, and as not good enough, and coming out for him meant more than just telling people that he was gay, it meant coming out of condemnation, out of self hatred and self judgement and coming into love, and knowing he was loved and valued. 

I've had a rough couple of weeks, I don't want to get into it really, cause most of the time I'm fine, but when I'm alone it's hard to keep my thoughts from going dark.  Not suicidal or anything, just... well, not happy thoughts. So, this sermon got me thinking about coming out in a new way... coming out of anything I feel shame about... I don't know if I can do it, honestly, but it's an interesting thought.



On a completely different note, I heard someone say something interesting this week that has been bouncing around my brain ever since, it's just so very true and so very relevant to my life.  Here it is:  You can think your comfort zone is a horrible place, and still be comfortable there.